Training for a marathon is no small feat. As the weeks tick down to race day, you’ll find yourself immersed in a world filled with carbs, early mornings, and maybe a touch of madness. With just three weeks left on my training plan, I’ve compiled a funny list of 26.2 signs that you’re officially in marathon training mode. So, grab your running shoes and let’s dive into the hilarious (and slightly absurd) truths of training for a marathon!

26.2 Hilarious Signs You’re Training for a Marathon

1. Wine? What’s That?

Saturday evenings used to be all about unwinding with a glass of wine. Now, your weekends are focused on the right ratio of carbs and protein. Forget the hangover—you’re aiming for peak performance instead!

2. Early Bedtimes Are the New Normal

As your mileage increases, so does your need for sleep. You’ll find yourself heading to bed earlier than a toddler. Who knew that “early to bed” could actually become a lifestyle choice?

3. Sunday Is Your Long Run Day

Forget Sunday brunch; it’s all about getting up earlier on a Sunday than you do during the week to squeeze in that long run. Coffee and a quick stretch, and you’re out the door before most of your friends even wake up!

4. Route Planning During Work Hours

Lunch breaks have transformed from quick bites to extensive route planning sessions. You’ll spend your breaks with a map and your best running app, plotting out the perfect long run to tackle next weekend.

5. Dry Shampoo: Your New Bestie

With all the running, who has time for washing hair? Enter dry Shampoo—the magical stuff that helps you go from “just ran 10 miles” to “ready for a meeting” in minutes.

6. The runger gomes

Ah, “runger.” The ravenous beast that emerges post-run, demanding that you consume all the food in sight. You may find yourself devouring an entire pizza without a second thought.

7. Carbs Are Life

You might have a love affair with pasta, rice, and bread, feeling no guilt whatsoever. Your mantra? “Eat, sleep, run, repeat.”

8. Sweaty Selfies Are Your New Profile Pic

Your phone is now bursting with sweaty selfies and mileage screenshots. Who needs picturesque landscapes when you have the glow of post-run sweat?

9. You will have a favourite flavour of gel

Every runner has a preferred gel flavour, and you probably have a stash at home.

10. Chafing Realisations in the Shower

After a run, that post-run shower will reveal the unfortunate truth of chafing. You’ll be reminded that you pushed your limits a little too hard today.

11. Cold Baths Become a Ritual

If sitting in an ice-cold bath has become your new normal, congratulations! You’re officially a marathoner. The initial shock may be brutal, but your muscles will thank you.

12. Maranoia: Is It a Cold?

You’ve entered the world of “maranoia,” where every sniffle makes you question if you’re getting sick. Spoiler alert: it’s probably just the result of training hard.

13. Toenail Casualties Don’t Phase You

Missing toenails? No big deal. You’ve embraced the battle scars of marathon training as a sign of dedication rather than defeat.

14. ‘Just 16 Miles’ Is a Real Phrase

You’ve reached a point where saying “it’s just a 16-mile run tomorrow” feels completely normal. Just 16 miles? No problem!

15. Know Your Running Partners Intimately

Whether through training runs or race day prep, you’ve shared countless hours with your running partners. You know their life stories, quirks, and preferred gel flavors.

16. Self-Discovery Through Solo Runs

If you’ve trained alone, you’ve probably had deep conversations with yourself during those long runs. You’ve learned more about your thoughts than you ever expected!

17. Dreaming About Running

Running dreams are a thing! Whether it’s nailing your finish line pose or discovering you forgot your shoes, these dreams can be both humorous and stressful.

18. Tan Lines from Lycra

Lycra has become your uniform, and those tan lines are proof. Your friends might wonder why you’re suddenly sporting strange patterns!

19. Discovering Hidden Leg Muscles

Training for a marathon has revealed muscles you didn’t know existed. Squats? Who knew they could lead to such impressive calves?

20. Stairs? What Stairs?

Walking up the stairs post-long run? More like a test of survival. Your legs will remind you of the miles you just conquered with every step.

21. The Comfort of Comfy Shoes

Heels? Out. Comfy shoes? In. You’ve traded your stylish footwear for all things comfy as you prepare for the marathon grind.

22. Socks? Priceless!

When you’re willing to spend £15 on a pair of running socks without a second thought, you know you’re fully committed to the training life.

23. Everyday Roads Become Potential Routes

Your brain has switched gears; now every road you drive on becomes a potential running route. “I could definitely run that!” becomes a common thought.

24. Hydration Overload

You’ve never consumed so much water in your life. Water bottles are now your trusty sidekicks, and you’ve likely become a hydration pro.

25. Lycra: Your New Wardrobe

Lycra has become your go-to outfit, and your friends might forget what you look like in ‘normal’ clothes. When in doubt, throw on more lycra!

26. Perfecting Your Finish Line Pose

You’ve secretly practiced your finish line pose in the mirror. Don’t worry; it’s just part of the marathon preparation process!

26.2: The Never-Ending Marathon Debate

Lastly, you’re tired of explaining to non-runners that all marathons are indeed 26.2 miles. Yes, even London! It’s time for people to know the truth!